London, a younger mom of three, sat quietly, staring off into the space as she contemplated the query I’d requested as our teaching session approached its ending. After a number of minutes of silence, she nodded slowly and whispered a easy, “Sure.” I knew our work had reached a milestone and on the similar time was simply starting.
Will you belief that the Lord has a plan even on this? I’d requested her. It was a critical query. London knew her reply would verify the tough resolution she’d been wrestling with after studying her husband of seven years had damaged their marriage vows, committing adultery with a girl he labored with.
The couple initially sought my assist to restore their damaged marriage, however after three classes, I discerned the husband was nonetheless actively concerned with the girl. Not one to bop across the reality, I requested him outright throughout our subsequent session. His eyes darted from side to side, and a panicked look washed over his misty face. As if somebody had turned a lightweight on in a darkened room, London squinted her eyes as the reality grew to become clear to her.
She had inclinations that the affair wasn’t over, but it surely wasn’t till that teaching session that her fears had been confirmed. Her husband made no apologies; he knew his sport was over. So, as an alternative of repenting and repairing the wedding, he left—not simply our teaching session but additionally London and their youngsters. Now a single mom, London weighed her choices. She knew she had biblical grounds to divorce her husband, as he had each dedicated adultery and abandonment (Matthew 5:32, I Corinthians 7:15). However what about remarriage? Was she free to remarry if the Lord ought to carry alongside a godly man?
The Function of Marriage
To have an correct understanding of God’s view of divorce and remarriage, it’s essential to know the aim of marriage. Our tradition tends to invalidate or idolize marriage. A rising secular development teaches that marriage is simply “a bit of paper” or an choice for these on the lookout for monetary or tax benefits, however not crucial for a flourishing household. Then again, many church buildings maintain marriage because the gold customary of God’s favor and acceptance, usually inflicting those that are single to really feel lower than or forgotten. Neither excessive is useful.
As I learn Scripture, nonetheless, I’m awestruck at how God interweaves the which means of marriage all through its pages. Marriage is about greater than companionship, monetary stability, or elevating a household. The Bible teaches the aim of marriage is to mirror the picture of God within the Earth (Genesis 1:27) and to increase His kingdom (Genesis 1:28), exemplifying the devoted, covenantal relationship Christ has with His Church (Ephesians 5:25-27, Revelation 19:7).
Marriage is essential to God. It’s not a throwaway relationship to be taken calmly. This is the reason I can’t marry a pair who has not devoted themselves to investing in premarital counseling and committing to honoring God and his ideas of their marriage. {Couples} have to be reminded that marriage displays Christ and His bride (the Church). How does Christ deal with His bride? How ought to His bride deal with Christ? Subsequently, what God has joined collectively, let no man separate (Matthew 19:6).
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When Divorce Is Permissible
Sadly, as within the case of London’s husband, not everybody takes their marriage vows significantly or holds them as much as God’s customary for marriage. To some, marriage is solely a handy choice till one thing, or somebody, “higher” comes alongside.
In Jesus’s day, the Pharisees, a gaggle of spiritual leaders, tried to journey him up with the query of divorce. Citing Moses’s exception to the rule of marriage (Deuteronomy 24:1-4), they wished to know what Jesus mentioned about divorce.
Jesus’s reply needs to be written on the hearts of all who take the wedding vow. He went on to clarify that Moses solely permitted divorce due to the hardness of their hearts (Matthew 19:8). In Biblical instances, girls usually had little to no civil rights. If a girl didn’t please her husband, the husband might merely “ship her away” with a certificates of divorce. This was an excellent travesty, as most girls had been unable to assist themselves or their youngsters financially with out the assistance of a person. To divorce a girl was to topic her to a tough, merciless life. The prophet Malachi goes even additional to explain divorce, in these circumstances, as “treacherous and violent” (Malachi 2:13-16).
Nevertheless, there have been instances when divorce was permitted. In circumstances of adultery (Matthew 5:32), abandonment (I Corinthians 7:15), and what most mainstream Christians consider to be abuse (Exodus 21:10-11). It is very important observe that these are permissible circumstances for divorce, optional circumstances. Many people have witnessed circumstances the place the Lord has so dramatically reworked an individual’s coronary heart that, though the damage partner might have legally and biblically pursued a divorce, the wedding was redeemed. It’s essential that in these circumstances, fasting and prayer, together with godly counsel, be pursued.
Can Remarriage after Divorce Be Godly?
Each divorce is a breaking of a covenant. Each divorce is because of one or each spouses’ hardness of coronary heart. However as Jim Newheiser writes, “While every divorce is due to human sin, not everyone who divorces sins.”
Sin may be outlined as something that we are saying, do, or suppose that displeases God. It displeases God to interrupt covenant. Nevertheless, there are occasions when the breaking of the covenant is past our management. In these circumstances, God makes provision for remarriage (see Matthew 19:9).
We serve a God who brings magnificence from ashes, pleasure from mourning, and reward from despair (Isaiah 61:3). One in every of my purchasers, we’ll name her Pleasure, was in a really abusive marriage. Her husband claimed to be a Christian and would even use the Bible as a weapon (actually and figuratively) towards her. Fortunately, Pleasure escaped that marriage, bought some much-needed counseling, and finally settled right into a quiet life as a single mother of their then-six-year-old son. Finally, Pleasure met and married a godly man, however only a few years into their marriage, he was untrue. Not desirous to be twice divorced, Pleasure discovered about my marriage teaching. She knew she wanted somebody who might assist her and her husband overcome the infidelity of their marriage.
As a result of her husband was humble and repentant, I made a decision to work with them. Week after week, each Pleasure and her husband grew as people, and we had been all elated to see their marriage breathe new life once more. May Pleasure have divorced her second husband? The Bible says so, however she selected to remain and see what the Lord might do. Her remarriage is a godly testomony to the God who restores, redeems, and heals all issues.
The Higher Query to Ask
As a substitute of asking “Is remarriage after divorce” a sin, I consider the higher query to ask is how can God get glory out of a second marriage? How would the second marriage bear witness to His will and nature? Marriage isn’t simple. It can take each day sacrifice, full give up, and continuous forgiveness. This is the reason it ought to by no means be entered or exited calmly.
The apostle Paul warned, “Every part is permissible,” however not all the pieces is useful. “Every part is permissible,” however not all the pieces builds up (I Corinthians 10:23). Earlier than searching for to remarry, it’s essential to make sure your coronary heart is healed, you’ve gotten absolutely forgiven (your self and your partner), and that you just invite the Lord into your future. Should you divorced for a biblical cause, and the Lord brings you one other partner, honor your covenant. Should you didn’t divorce for a biblical cause, you’d be clever to heed the voice of the Lord and to stay within the situation you’re in (I Corinthians 7:25-39).
Photograph Credit score: ©GettyImages/Antonio Guillem
