I’ve been a PCA pastor for 37 years. For the final 20 years, I’ve been very fortunately settled because the senior pastor of the PCA church in Windfall, Rhode Island, however for the primary 15 years of my ministry, I served a church within the Dallas space. I cherished that point of my life, the folks, and the church, however my customary description of these years has at all times been, “13 nice years, one troublesome 12 months, and one actually troublesome 12 months.” And that’s placing it mildly.
It was the proper storm, an advanced mixture of personalities, agendas, and misunderstandings. After years of peace, folks with completely different priorities discovered themselves gradual to hear, fast to talk, and fast to turn into offended (the alternative of James 1:19). Whereas the flash level was leadership-level battle, it spilled over into the congregation, with the lives of dozens of individuals being very adversely impacted.
Do I sound obscure? Sure, and intentionally so. I’m not curious about recounting the main points which led to our congregational meltdown, of which my recollections could be imperfect and fallible at greatest. As an alternative, I merely wish to offer you a way of the place so many people discovered ourselves as our church battle reached its crescendo: drained, harm, bitter, offended, confused, and exhausted.
There was a really painful and pronounced fracturing of friendships, with wounds so deep that it was inconceivable to think about they’d ever heal. Whereas the main points fluctuate from church to church and scenario to scenario, these are the experiences which are widespread to all who endure extreme church battle.
Folks went their separate methods: some remained within the church, others left, and my household and I ultimately landed again East. I requested an older, wiser pal who went via an analogous trial how lengthy it might take to recuperate from this sort of battle.
“About 5 years,” he mentioned.
And he was proper, nearly to the day.
And that was all I realistically hoped for: restoration and having the ability to transfer on with my life and ministry. I didn’t anticipate what appeared unthinkable and inconceivable on the time. Over the course of the following 20 years, hearts softened, friendships have been repaired, and pleasure and mutual affection have been restored. It didn’t come shortly or unexpectedly. However it did come, and it has been wondrous and memorable to behold.
Just a few months in the past, many people from that church scenario gathered collectively. It’s troublesome to explain the peculiar pleasure and delight discovered when the identical group who have been as soon as engulfed in a maelstrom of battle and upheaval discover themselves feasting, laughing, remembering, and being grateful for each other and for the season when our lives overlapped.
There isn’t a hint of the anger, bitterness, or despair I as soon as felt. All of that’s years behind me. All that now stays is love and affection for these expensive brothers and sisters.
Not each relationship has been repaired, nor each friendship restored. However the therapeutic has been very substantial and is one thing that amazes me each time I consider it.
I hope I by no means once more need to endure such a interval of ecclesiastical strife, however in fact, on this aspect of glory there aren’t any ensures.
I believe, nonetheless, of those that could also be studying these phrases. Some individuals are about to enter a time of nice battle, however assume it may by no means occur to them and their church buildings. A few of you’re in the midst of such a conflagration, discovering your lives consumed by it. Some are within the aftermath of a traumatic ordeal, navigating the wreckage and particles, questioning should you’ll ever heal.
I’m sufficient of a realist to acknowledge that some wounds gained’t be healed and a few friendships gained’t be restored till the proper reconciliation of the world to come back. But, I wished to share my expertise to offer you hope and to bear witness to the truth that loving and laughing could nicely come about over the following years. You could discover, to your shock and delight, that, with the passage of time, your wounds shall be healed.
I not too long ago completed preaching via the Psalms of Ascent (120-134). It was particularly poignant for me to consider the language of Psalm 133, of how good and nice it’s when brothers dwell collectively in unity, with the oil operating down upon head and beard and the veritable dew of Hermon falling on the mountains of Zion.
After which to consider that goodness and pleasantness being shattered and destroyed … solely in the end, by the grace of God, to be restored. Thanks be to God, who, by his Phrase and Spirit – and thru the passage of time – heals our wounds.
David Sherwood serves as senior pastor of Trinity Presbyterian Church in Windfall, Rhode Island.
